St. Anthony Marie Claret y Claret: The 10 Rules for Husbands and Wives

by Br. Alexis Bugnolo

One of the greatest and yet most unknown Saints of the 19th Century was Anthony Marie Claret y Claret, a Catholic priest and religious, founder of the Claretians, who was made a Bishop, was confessor to the Queen of Spain, and attended Vatican I.

So great was his piety, that when certain Bishops at Vatican I suggested that the Pope was not protected by the grace of infallibility, he had a heart attack.

So great was his friendship with Our Lord, that when he received the Eucharist, daily, the Host would not disintegrate, until the next time he received.

So great was his proximity to the Holy Spirit, in spirit, that his body would glow in the dark.

So great was the protection offered him by the Eternal Father, that on occasion, when in rained, it did not rain upon him!

So much did God want us to follow his teaching, that when he was pastor of a small village, he raised more than a dozen parishioners from the dead!

So we can be sure that these rules for married couples are approved of in Heaven. They are contained in the Spanish edition of his book, entitled, “Camino recto y seguro para llegar al cielo”, that is, “The Right and Safe Path to arrive at Heaven”.

First, the images of the book cover and page, and then, my English translation of the rules for a holy and blessed Married Life: 10 for husbands, and 10 for wives.


1. To love your wife as Jesus Christ loves the Church.

2. To not despise her, since she is your inseparable companion.

3. To lead her as your inferior.

4. To care for her, as the guard of your own person.

5. Maintain her in a decent manner.

6. Endure her with patience.

7. Assist her in charity.

8. Correct her with benevolence.

9. Do not mistreat her in word or deed.

10. Never do or say anything in front of your children, even the little ones, which could be a source of scandal.


1. Appreciate your husband.

2. Respect him as your head.

3. Obey him as your superior.

4. Assist him with all diligence.

5. Care for him with reverence.

6. Correct him with meekness.

7. Shut up when you are enraged and while you are angry.

8. Endure his defects with patience.

9. Flee from treating him as an equal.

10. Cooperate with your husband in the education of your children.


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14 thoughts on “St. Anthony Marie Claret y Claret: The 10 Rules for Husbands and Wives”

  1. Br. Bugnolo,

    What should a wife do if her husband gives her mixed messages, and she cannot figure out what he really wants her to do?

    1. Ask him? Or if he is of one mind today, and of another tomorrow, do what keeps him most peaceful and annoys him least of all out of the things he says.

  2. Well, I may destroy my credibility with this question, and maybe I really am crazy to think it, but I have the distinct impression that my husband has a demonic spirit that sometimes controls him.

    My husband is a very sweet, Godly man, but as time goes on, it seems that a total other personality takes him over, more and more often, one that is very abusive, blasphemous and hateful.

    I have no problem with doing what my husband tells me to do, but my question is, am I also required to do what a demonic spirit tells me to do, just because it’s words come out of my husband’s mouth?

    I have tried to discuss this situation with my husband, but he is in denial about the presence of this spirit and does not seem to remember what it says to me, which I understand is very common in situations of this sort.

    I’m sorry to bother you with this situation, but as you can imagination, I cannot find anyone else I feel I can talk to about it.

    Thank you.

    1. Get some holy water, a blessed Brown Scapular, and a Rosary. And when he speaks this way, sprinkle the Holy Water on him. Try to get him to wear the scapular when he is in a better mood, and say the Rosary with him from time to time. Demons can only be fought with the power of the one they fear more than any other, the Mother of Christ.

      1. Good advice for Catholics, but I am not one. But I appreciate your response. It is still enlightening.

        I believe I will fall back on Rule 8–“Endure his defects with patience.” ( I was unclear earlier that the abuse is strictly verbal. I would not recommend anyone to endure physical abuse.)

        And I would also add, “…with prayer.”

      2. If you are a Christian, these things will still work. They will work even if you are not a Christian, if you simply trust what a Catholic is telling you. Because their power is innate, not based on the person using or asking.

    2. Perhaps a more obvious question to ask is whether he has been investigated for the onset of dementia? Though more mundane and less dramatic than the prospect of demonic possession, it is much the more likely situation since dementia is incredibly common. Dramatic changes of personality are strongly associated with dementia and also as the result of head injuries.

  3. Very seldom is it mentioned among the faithful of the importance of marrying someone equally yoked in faith as declared in 2 Cor 6: 14. It’s impossible for a faithful believer in Jesus Christ to marry fruitfully and lovingly, a truly evil person which applies equally to male and female.

    1. That is true but due to the current state of affairs in the Church and the world, one only finds out how important this is after the fact. I would even add that it is important to know well the parents of the person one is marrying because the son or daughter will be a reflection of them.

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